John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of
me life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize for
the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best
toast of the night." She said, "Aye, what was your toast?" John said,
"Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me
wife." "Oh that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on the
street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize, the
other night, with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye and I was a
bit surprised me self! You know, he's only been there twice! Once he
fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make
him come."